Personal Reflection: The Dangers of Humor: Self-Deprecation & Me

One of the many pitfalls of humor is self-deprecation and I used to know it very well. Too well (sadly). 

Self-mockery is often a very overlooked facet of the downsides of humor. We often think of aggression or the use of unhealthy humor to mask as a coping mechanism, but self-mockery never really enters the chat. It is almost like a silent pitfall because it can be an uncomfortable topic to address amongst people.

I have always been known for my humor and people always remark about how funny I am and how I use humor to find the light in bad situations. But when I was a teenager, I had a very unhealthy tendency to utilize self-deprecation as my main source of humor in order to conceal how terribly bad I felt about myself. My confidence was low because I did not like the way I looked and I thought that by making fun of myself, others would not notice the flaws that I perceived about myself. I used self-deprecating humor as a means to distract, when in reality I was undervaluing myself and treating myself in a disparaging manner. Which, now being older and looking back, I realize is utterly horrendous!! How I wish I could give teenage Zoe a hug.

It was not until a classmate of mine named Holly had complimented me on a singing performance that I had done in our theater class that it clicked in  my brain that I could not continue on this way. After making a self-deprecating joke at my expense in response to her compliment, Holly turned around and said, "Zoe, I wish you could see how amazing you are and stop trying to fight it by making fun of yourself". That sentence changed my whole outlook on self-deprecation and I realized that it had no place in my sense of humor anymore!